I’ve decided I won’t be doing reviews on Fridays and the weekends since I need some time to take care of other things. These next two months are going to be especially hectic for me. But I’ll try my best to make my posts on their respective days. “Adventure Time” is turning out to be a nice, little show to watch. I still can’t say I’m a huge fan of it, but at least I don’t find it particularly boring or nonsensical (even if most of the contents ARE pretty bizarre). Anyway, I thought I’d just let you all know in case you start questioning why there aren’t any reviews from Friday to Sunday. I should be updating my profile with more information soon, so be sure to keep an eye out for them. Now, let the watching begin!

• OH MY GOD. CANDY PARTY. Why didn’t anyone invite me?! I would have LOVED to attend.
• What. A. Fragile. Tower. Just wow. I bet even I could knock it down.
• That’s ridiculous. A brick? The secret entrance is through a brick?!
• DID FINN JUST SAY GOLLY? I THINK HE DID.
• What is Finn doing? WHAT KIND OF DANCE IS THAT? AND HE JUST JUMPED OFF OF THE FREAKING TOWER. You’re lucky you have a rubber dog, man. Just saying.
• How medieval. I love the key keeper’s voice. He is adorable. And Finn JUST STUFFED HIM INTO THE KEYHOLE. OH MAN. That wasn’t a VERY HARD riddle after all, huh?
• Wow. WHAT ARE THOSE? EVIL FAIRIES? OH SHIT WHY ARE THEY DESTROYING OLD LADIES. THAT IS WONDERFUL.
• STOP DOING EVERYTHING THEY’RE WARNING YOU NOT TO DO. I MEAN, COME ON, IF THEY TELL YOU SAYING NO WILL MAKE THEM KILL OLD PEOPLE, YOU SHOULD NOT IN THE NAME OF JEEGUS CHRIST SAY NO.
• Oh. Apparently, they’re gnomes. BUT YEAH YOU TELL THEM JAKE. STUFF THOSE STUPID WANNABE FAIRY GNOMES BACK INTO THE CAULDRON.
• Yes, I agree. You’re very stupid-teous. Listen to Jake, bro. He knows all. HE KNOWS ALL. WHAT THE HELL. DID THAT TROLL JUST EAT JAKE. WHAT A HORRIBLY DISGUSTING AND BAD GIANT TROLL MONSTER YOU ARE. FOR SHAME. I DON’T UNDERSTAND THE WORLD ANYMORE.
• HE HAS A MOOSE TIED TO HIS ARM. That is actually pretty neat. OH MAN SHIT IS GETTING REAL FINN JUST STOLE HIS DOLLAR AND WHY THE HELL DOES THAT BARF REMIND ME OF MILK. Sorry to anyone who is drinking milk at the moment. Please forgive me.
• IS THAT THE GRIM REAPER? “…brain world you’re not entirely aware of.” Because he just made me chuckle.
• SHIT. FINN IS SLAYING A HEART. WOW. ARE YOU SURE YOU SHOULD BE LISTENING TO HIM?
• JUST STEP ON THAT STUPID ANT ALREADY. WHAT THE HECK HE BEAT THE GRIM REAPER JUST LIKE THAT??? WHY LISTEN TO HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE THEN.
• IT’S THE CUTE KEY KEEPER. WHY IS HE WEARING THAT LITTLE DEVIL COSTUME? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. HIS PAJAMAS. HOW ADORABLE. I THINK I FOUND ANOTHER CHARACTER TO ADD TO MY FAVORITE LIST. Come here you devil, you.
• Oh. It’s the Enchiridion! READ IT, READ IT, READ IT. What. How to kiss princesses? D’AWWH. ARE YOU GOING TO USE THEM NEW SMOOTH MOVES TO KISSU THE BUBBLEGUM PRINCESS, FINN?

• Why is there a fire at that castle? OH MAN. THIS SONG. I LOVE IT. WHAT. HE SWALLOWED A LITTLE COMPUTER. WHO IS STANLEY. HE’S A WATERMELON. WHY IS EVERYTHING GOING SO FAST? STOP DISTRACTING ME WITH THEM FINE TUNES, FINN.
• By the way, SOMEONE IS STALKING YOU JAKE. A SCHMOZOW??? WHAT IS THAT EVEN. Oh shit. This episode. With the song and the dancing and the singing and the whistling. I has no words anymore.
• What the fuck. STOP TOUCHING JAKE’S BUTT.
• You must be pretty strong, Finn. Even I can’t split my toothbrush with my bare hands. And, of course, break out into the toothbrush dance why don’t you.
• Nice. They’re destroying shit.
• Awww. Jake is asleep. Guess it’s bed time for everyone.
• IS HE MAKING HOT MILK TEA. I AM GOING TO PRETEND HE IS.
• WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE JIGGLER? IS THE POOR THING SICK? NO. DON’T BE SICK LITTLE DUDE.
• NO. THAT IS A BAD IDEA, FINN. DON’T MAKE HIM DRINK GOOP. Uhm. I think… that was a bad idea. YOU BROKE HIM. STOP IT. TAKE THE JIGGLER TO A LITTLE JIGGLY HOSPITAL. Huh. Jiggly Hospital. Jigglypuff. Hoshit.
• HE ATE THE DRAWINGS. THAT IS SO CUTE. THAT IS ADORABLE. HE IS PRECIOUS. BUT HE’S STILL NOT FEELING WELL AND WHY ARE YOU EATING YOURSELF JAKE?
• Man, you’re going to make him barf. Yup. There we go. He just splurted out all that shit and now he’s going to… THAT IS NOT A GOOD IDEA. DON’T PLUG UP HIS HOLES. WHAT ARE YOU DOING. BAD FINN, BAD. TAKE HIM TO A HOSPITAL. WHAT THE FUCK. WHERE DID YOU GET THE EYEBALLS FROM. THAT’S SICK.
• YES. JUST TAKE THE JIGGLER BACK TO WHERE HE CAME FROM. OH NO. HE EXPLODED AND NOW HE’S STRETCHING EVERYWHERE.
• Poor thing. His butt is running around.
• WHAT WILL KISSING HIM DO. HE’S NOT A PRINCESS. D’awwwh. Look at that. He’s kissing colors all over the floor. WOW. HE DREW A PICTURE. WE MUST TAKE THE JIGGLER BACK TO HIS MOM. HURRY UP. DO IT NOW. HE NEEDS HIS MUDDER.
• Jake is covered with eyepatches. Lovely.
• IT’S THE MOM WITH ALL HER BABEHS. TAKE THE JIGGLER BACK TO HIS MOMMY SO HE CAN DRINK THE PINK FLUID. WHAT. SHE’S REJECTING HIM NOW. THAT IS NOT COOL. BUT UNDERSTANDABLE. SOME ANIMALS DON’T LIKE STRANGE SMELLS ON THEIR BABEHS. Make him smell like his mommy’s juice, Finn. Wow. That sounds so wrong. BUT WHO CARES.
• There we go. They’re finally reunited. Yay. Remember no more kidnapping, Finn.
• Jake. Nightmare? Oh, you.

You are correct. I did the review in note format today because I’m a lazy bastard and it’s definitely faster than jotting everything down in paragraphs. Even though it’s primarily filled with a bunch of CAPS LOCK and IDIOCY (on my part), I might start doing it this way in the future because classes are going to start soon for me. But it really does sum down to how I feel that day in the end. So, let me know what you think. Note format is acceptable, y/n?

I would like to take this time to warn everybody that there is going to be a lot of CAPS LOCK and grammar flying right out of the gogdamn window. These two chapters made me FLIP THE FUCK OUT. I still has no words at this point. Kind of… Just. Yeah. Okay. Let the reading? begin!

OH MAN. FINN AND JAKE JUST KNOCKED OUT A SNOW MONSTER’S HEAD WHILE SLEDDING AND NOW THERE’S A CREEPY ASS TONGUE FLICKING OUT. I swear that could give a kid nightmares if it wasn’t depicted in such a funny way. Still sent some jitters through me though. But maybe it’s because I just don’t like TONGUES protruding out of DECAPITATED SNOW MONSTERS’ NECKS. DON’T JUDGE ME, OK? IT’S FREAKY. As you can probably tell, I’m not someone who does well with horror. Not that any of this was genuinely scary. WHAT THE HECK. NYAN CAT. THE SNOW MONSTER TURNED INTO NYAN CAT. THAT IS ADORABLE. I’LL EVEN EXCUSE THE GODDAMN TONGUE BECAUSE IT MEWED.

Did Jake just turn into a sleigh? I think he did. Yes, he did. This is the benefit of having a RUBBER dog. That’s right. The rubber theory again. I DON’T CARE WHAT ANYONE HAS TO SAY. HE IS MADE OF RUBBER, PEOPLE. DEAL WITH IT. Oh! Look at the penguins. There are so many. Aren’t they like the minions of the Ice King or something? Just a thought. OKAY WHY DO THEY KEEP SWITCHING PLACES WITH EACH OTHER? WHY AM I EVEN ASKING THIS? IT’S BECAUSE IT IS CONVENIENT AND FUN, LAWS. DON’T ASK STUPID QUESTIONS. I’m yelling at myself. I need to stop. And, when I mean stop, it means now. Right now. Alright. MOVING ON. OH YAY! IT’S THE ICE KING!!! HE FINALLY SHOWS UP IN THIS EPISODE. I’m not really that far into it yet, but it’s still great to see the old guy again.

Finn: Yeah! There’s a big sleeping lava man in our front yard and he is SO hot.

Jake: Mmhmm.

Finn: Wait, wait, no, I didn’t, I-I mean, not like sexy hot.

Jake: No. No, you do mean sexy hot.

I just want to say I really enjoy these two together. This snippet of conversation they had with each other was so amusing. Jake is awesome, by the way. He is awesomesauce. I can’t say he is on the same level of affinity as Starchy and the Ice King for me, but he’s definitely my favorite between him and Finn. Can’t say I like Finn very much. My mindset might change. For now though, he’s… tolerable at best. Something about his personality kind of grates on my nerves.

OH THAT IS SUCH A CUTE LITTLE SNOW MONSTER. It’s so TINY. I could pick it up and put it in my pocket. NO, JAKE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? LEAVE IT ALONE. R.I.P. MINI SNOW MONSTER. R.I.P. And then the Ice King froze them both up. HEY, FINN. WHY DON’T YOU TRY TO BREAK OUT BY BELIEVING IN YOURSELF? IT SURE WORKED FOR YOU LAST TIME. Wow. WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PRINCESSES LOCKED UP? Oh. Right. Because the Ice King happens to COLLECT THEM. I doubt it’s honestly creepier than what I collect. Do you know those machines where you put quarters in? Well, I like to purchase the voodoo doll charms from them. I have so many in my room. Stuffed them all in a bag. I’ve actually tried attaching them to my cell but the string always ends up breaking eventually. My fault, really. I like to sit on my phone a lot since I stuff it into my back pocket. If you do that too much, apparently it’ll detach your charms. I don’t think I’ll stop ruining my voodoo dolls that way though. I can’t help hooking them up onto my cell. When I first started buying them, I had literally three voodoo dolls chained up together in a little bundle. It was great. Unfortunately, the one that was holding all of them together broke loose from my phone and I decided to just do single charms afterward (even though I haven’t managed to follow through with it yet).

I love how LSP has no shits to give. She’s just hovering over there with her arms crossed looking like she couldn’t care less. Annnnd, alright, that was a horrible attempt at saving everyone, Finn. That flute broke before it even went past the bars. You could have thought it through a little bit better. Wait. What. Did Jake say it was used to I don’t even oh shit the Ice King has very feminine legs. I MEAN, THAT’S WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, OKAY? STOP JUDGING ME. WHERE THE HELL DID THAT KEY COME FROM, JAKE? WHAT IS HAPPENING. OH GOD FINN IS MAD. HIS FACE IS ALL RED AND HIS EYES WHAT ARE HIS EYES DOING. I LOVE YOU FOR THIS, ICE KING. My grammar farted. I apologize. Actually, I apologize for the imagery of grammar letting out gas too. That was uncalled for.

Please just play the piano, Berry Princess. Press the keys already. It’s not like it’ll kill you. HOSHIT THE ICE KING’S DRUM SAYS #1 BABE. THAT IS FANTASTIC AND FINN’S FACE IS SO RETARDED-LOOKING WHEN HE’S THINKING. That is ONE ugly contemplative expression, man. Might I say, that is some sucky playing too, Monsieur Ice King. Have some mercy and stop please. You should never ever form a band. It seems none of these princesses know how to work the instruments either. HAVEN’T THEY TAUGHT YOU ANYTHING BACK AT HOME?

I LOVE LSP. That was a random burst of “new favorite character to add to the list of Starchy and the Ice King”. OH WOW FINN. HE REALLY MANAGED TO KNOCK THE OLD GUY DOWN. THAT WAS A GOOD PUNCH. I MEAN, POOR ICE KING BUT WHAT THE HELL HE LOOKS LIKE MOSES IN THE SKY WITHOUT HIS OUTFIT AND WHY IS THERE A RANDOM OWL. IT CALLED HIM A SOCIOPATH. THAT IS BRILLIANT. OH LOOK PENGUINS. I WANT ONE. I WANT THE TINY PENGUIN ON THE LEFT. There is no structure to my writing anymore, guise. /gives up on life forever orz

Sooo, the Slime Princess wants to marry Finn. Awkward. Too bad he likes the Bubblegum Princess, m’right? WHAT. PEE HIS PANTS ALL THE TIME??? IS THAT TRUE OR DID YOU MAKE IT UP ON THE SPOT. I BET IT’S THE TRUTH. I sound so immature right now. What is this show doing to me. BUT THAT WAS A REAL SMOOTH MOVE, JAKE. If my friends ever ask me to help them throw off a crusher, I know what to do now. Thanks, bro.

THAT IS ONE UGLY ELEPHANT. I’d probably like her more if she made pumpkin pies instead of apple. Hate apples. Hate, hate, HATE apples. Well, I do like drinking apple juice and eating apple candies, but literally nomming on that shit? AHAHAHAHAHA. No. Practically everybody knows I have a strong dislike for that godawful fruit. Don’t ask me why. I just do. Wow. What a waste of a perfectly good pie. She kind of creeps me out. CARVE HIS FACE ON THE MOON SO IT’LL LOOK LIKE HIS FACE SAY WHUT. OH JAKE, YOU. THAT IS PRECIOUS.

Apple of apples. They are talking about the apple of all apples. I don’t know how I feel about this And of course it’s in an evil forest. It’s always in an evil forest. Huh. She’s actually a pretty adorkable little old elephant. Tree Trunks, I think you’ve won my heart. OKAY. STOP HUMPING THE FLOOR WITH YOUR ASS, JAKE OH MY GOD THERE IS AN EYE ON THE FLOOR THERE IS A GODDAMN EYE ON THE FUCKING FLOOR. THAT IS. HOLY FUCK. THAT IS SO GROSS. A WALL OF FLESH. SHIT. YEAH. ALRIGHT. STICKERS? No. Just NO. You should be RUNNING AWAY. STOP PUTTING STICKERS ON THAT THING ALREADY AND RUN AWAY, TREE TRUNKS. NO. NO NO NO. DON’T EAT HER.

That is the strangest butterfly in the world. I WANT ONE. It has a skeleton head and a TINY SWORD. WILL YOU TWO STOP CONVERSING WITH EACH OTHER? CAN’T YOU SEE SHE’S GONE ALREADY? YEAH. RIGHT. EVERYTHING’S FINE WHEN YOU JUST COMPLETELY LOST HER. Oh god. Tree Trunks is so clueless. I love it. WAIT DID JAKE’S LEGS JUST TURNED INTO SCISSORS? That is PRETTY COOL RIGHT THERE. Hey, Finn is getting beaten up, Jake. You should do something about it, and oh you just did. Wrapped yourself around them like a giant blanket and rolled aw— OH WOW FINN GOT SO JACKED UP. THAT PLEASES ME FOR SOME REASON. I know, I’m a horrible person.

WHAT IS THAT. WHAT IS THAT MAGENTA BRAIN TENTACLE MONSTER THING??? WHAT THE HELL. SHE’S GOING TO TRY SEDUCING IT WITH HER WOMANLY CHARMS. WHAT WOMANLY CHARMS??? You’re a bit delusional on that forefront, Tree Trunks. No offense. Oh, hey, you found the crystal gem apple though. That was way too easy. Can’t believe Finn and Jake let her just walk away from them in the middle of an EVIL FOREST. But at least she’s finally found what she was searching for. oh jeegus. The Crystal Guardian can imitate people. That is tight. NICE ONE, FINN. YES, ATTACK IT WITH YOUR FIST. YOU’RE TOTES NOT GOING TO GET HURT. Did I ever mention how much I want those butterflies? They’re straight out adorkable with their little instruments. I could watch them all day WITH MY POCKET SNOW MONSTER. BY GOG JAKE AND FINN YOUR MAKE UP IS HORRIBLE YOU LOOK LIKE ZOMBIES. NO. WAIT WHAT. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE. THIS SHOULDN’T BE HAPPENING. TREE TRUNKS EXPLODED. WHAT IS GOING ON. WHAT. NO. YOU CAN’T JUST DO THAT. YOU CAN’T JUST END THERE. THAT IS NOT COOL. NO. NO NO NO NO. SHE NEEDS TO COME BACK LIKE HOW STARCHY RETURNED IN “SLUMBER PARTY PANIC”. THIS IS BULLSHIT. I AM NOT OKAY WITH THIS AT ALL. COME BACK TO US, TREE TRUNKS.

I need to go sit down outside in the sun and sulk now. Excuse me, people. My heart has been broken.

R.I.P. Tree Trunks.

Surprise! There are two chapters to the one episode. I didn’t expect it at all. God, this just makes me think I SERIOUSLY haven’t watched cartoons in a long, long time. But, enough with this, onwards with the show!

OKAY. WHAT. DEAD CANDY PEOPLE? AND WHY ARE THEY BRINGING THEM BACK ALIVE. OH WOW. THIS IS… KIND OF AMAZING. I really love how Finn is just shoving one back into the grave and then kicking another like a soccer ball. Talk about respect for the dead. AND THERE’S A CANDY KINGDOM? I would LOVE to live there. Then again, I’d probably eat everyone, so that might not be such a good idea.

This is a seriously delicious kingdom though. I mean, donuts and cupcakes and piñatas? It’s really a kid’s fantasy world. Even though you can’t nom on any of them. And I just have a newfound love for the grave digger. I like how obvious he is about standing there with his back turned. It’s so ridiculous since he’s making it very clear to the audience that he’s setting himself up to encounter a goddamn zombie candy AND OH SHIT HE JUST EXPLODED. NO. DON’T EXPLODE GRAVE DIGGER THAT I LIKE.

Okay. Creds, man. Daring someone to tell the truth? I’ve never thought of it before. It’s actually pretty sweet since you can’t exactly go wrong by doing that. Unless there’s a rule against daring somebody to tell the truth when it’s a “Truth Or Dare” game. Which there isn’t. Right? I should really try that some day.

Pretending to smash the “piñatas” is actually a very good plan on Finn’s part. He’s a creative kid, I have to give him that. And I’m glad he managed to keep his promise until the end. OH WOW WHAT THE HELL THE ENTIRE CASTLE JUST FROZE UP AND WHY IS THERE A GIANT GUMBALL MACHINE AND FUCK THERE’S FIRE. I did not see that coming. No, I seriously didn’t. Fire-breathing gumball machines? That is brilliant. OKAY. MATH QUESTIONS? SERIOUSLY. THAT’S JUST WHAT IS THAT EVEN I DON’T UNDERSTAND THOSE EQUATIONS. SO STUPID. I THINK I’D DEFINITELY DIE IF MY LIFE DEPENDED ON SOLVING FORUMULAS OF ANY KIND.

…What. A. LUCKY. Break. 2+2? I am OKAY with this. Not that I’d think Finn would honestly die so early in the episode. Actually, he CAN’T die because he’s the MAIN CHARACTER. It wouldn’t make any sense whatsoever to wipe him out of existence no matter how tempting that might be. Apparently, he didn’t learn his lesson very well either. But I am going to give him cookie points solely because he could keep his promise to the bubblegum princess. AND YAY STARCHY IS ALIVE AGAIN!!! i can’t believe how random my affinity for him is.

OKAY, WHAT ARE THEY BOUNCING ON? ARE THOSE GIANT MARSHMALLOWS? I WANT TO BOUNCE ON THAT SHIT AND DRINK TEA TOO. I AM JELLY. SO JELLY. Of course, it’d better be either HOT MILK TEA or rose tea because rose tea is awesome. Everyone should try it. I can’t say I love tea very much? It’s a real LE GASP factor when it comes to an Asian. I mean, ASIANS ARE SUPPOSED TO LOVE DRINKING THAT. But I don’t. I pretty much only have three types that I am genuinely okay with. One is the rose tea, the other is the HOT milk tea and i completely forgot what the last one was called so let’s MOVE ON. I’ve actually been drinking HOT MILK TEA (yes, I am going to keep emphasizing that it’s hot, go away) daily. It’s become a sort of addiction. Extremely good. You should try making some on your own. All you need to do is have a tea bag (preferably black tea but jasmine is alright too), put it inside a cup, fill that cup with some hot water, add a spoonful of honey, mix that shit up, and then pour some milk into that beautiful concoction. Just stir and you’ll soon find yourself with a lovely mug of hot milk tea. Mmm. So delicious. It’s already tempting me to go make myself a cup. BUT I AM COMPLETELY GOING OFF TOPIC RIGHT NOW. THIS IS A REVIEW, LAWS. WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TEACHING PEOPLE HOW TO MAKE HOT MILK TEA? Because I obviously can. I’m just going to waste EVERYBODY’S time with this nonsensical talk I’m having with myself.

Oh wow. THAT CLOUD JUST BIT JAKE AND HE GOT THE LUMPS??? WHAT. WEREWOLF RULES. AND THAT CLOUD IS A GIRL? She doesn’t sound like a girl. She really doesn’t. She sounds like a dude. That is definitely a dude. Okay, maybe not. Whatever. Back to the main point though, WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE??? I RAMBLE ABOUT TEA FOR A COUPLE OF MINUTES AND SUDDENLY JAKE IS GOING TO TURN INTO SOME KIND OF LUMPSTER? On a side note that completely diverges from the chaos that is currently going on, I really love how the cloud speaks. It’s amusing.

I am going to say it right now. I love that frog. I love that frog on the mushroom. It’s adorkable. I want one. I want a talking amphibian on a shroom. Can I have one AND WOW THE CLOUD’S PARENTS ARE STUCK TOGETHER. WHAT IS THIS. THAT’S JUST WEIRD. AND GUESS WHAT? I FINALLY LEARNED HER NAME. THE CLOUD’S NAME IS LSP. I THINK. I AM PRETTY SURE THAT’S HOW YOU SPELL IT. I’m getting better with this name business. You’ll realize very soon that I am TERRIBLE with remembering names. I’m trying my best to listen for them carefully but I sometimes become too in tune with the actual show to catch them.

Yeah, alright. Will you just SIT ON THE STUPID SPHERE, JAKE? STOP DODGING IT. WAIT. WHAT. FINN JUST TURNED INTO A LUMPSTER TOO. AND, YES, I AM GOING TO BE CALLING THEM LUMPSTERS. SUE ME. now excuse me while i suddenly end this review right here please don’t actually file a lawsuit against me guise it was a joke.

So, I’m not about to say I am completely in love with this series yet but it’s surprisingly more tolerable than the pilot. I realize you can’t exactly judge an entire show based on its prototype, and I wasn’t. But I was a bit too skeptical about Adventure Time from the get go which was the primary reason why I was so quick to find negativity in it. I’m not going to apologize for it since I think it’s pointless to say sorry for the feeling I got during a reaction review post. I mean, what’s the point of doing reaction review posts if I’m just going to take everything I say back once my mind changes about something?

Anyway, point is, I am beginning to look forward to the next episode. I might not be head over heels about it, but at least it’s turning out to be a bit more enjoyable.

Okay. I am going to be starting on Adventure Time today. It was kind of on an impulse that I decided to pick this series up since I don’t normally watch cartoons. Well, not anymore anyway. I can’t really say I’ve seen a full episode of this before on television but I have watched a few clips.

PRIOR KNOWLEDGE OF ADVENTURE TIME

Finn is one of the main protagonists. He is an extremely annoying boy with long blond hair underneath his polar bear? hat who likes to go on adventures with his talking dog.

The yellow talking dog is Finn’s best friend and he has a unicorn for a girlfriend or something.

There is an ice king who does evil stuff but fails at it. He lives in a cave somewhere and he has robot friends??? I don’t even know.

There is a bubblegum princess and Finn has a crush on her and apparently she has a friendly rivalry with a vampire rocker chick named Marcie? Marceline? I don’t know.

THERE ARE GENDERBENT VERSIONS OF THE CHARACTERS. Apparently, Marcie/Marceline/what the fuck ever’s genderbent is named Marshall Lee.

That is pretty much the extent of my knowledge about the show. So, let the watching begin!

The pilot literally has me frowning already. What the FUCK. JAKE CAN DOWNLOAD SHIT INTO HIS BODY??? IS THIS JUST ACTIVE IMAGINATION ON HIS PART? oh my god this is so stupid. THEY CAN GROW AND WRIGGLE THEIR ARMS LIKE SNAKES? I MEAN, WOW. Just WOW. I don’t even know what to say to this.  

I have to admit the ice king is pretty cool though. I mean, come on, those frozen lightning bolts are just awesome, okay? It was also pretty humorous when Finn started throwing snow balls at the giant monsters. I actually chuckled at the conversation he had with the Elemental. But, once he actually confronts the ice king? Wow. WHY ARE YOU HUMPING HIM ON THE HEAD, DUDE? WHAT THE HELL.

I do agree with one thing the Ice King said. Finn’s hat IS stupid. But, wait, okay, ABRAHAM LINCOLN ON MARS? ARE THE WRITERS ON CRACK OR SOMETHING? I know this is a kid’s show, but, seriously, and wait what. How is it physically possible to break through solid ice just by BELIEVING IN YOURSELF? YOU’RE COMPLETELY FROZEN, FINN. WHY. And Jake is just STANDING THERE FLIRTING WITH THE UNICORN??? I think that’s his future girlfriend, right? Don’t answer that. It was rhetorical.

AND NOW THE ICE KING IS FLAPPING HIS BEARD TO SUSPEND HIMSELF ON THIN AIR. OH MAN. I THINK HE’S MY FAVORITE CHARACTER ALREADY. It’s ridiculous how he wasn’t careful enough to distance himself from Jake when he knew his crown could have easily been taken from him (or slapped off of his head). AND I HAVE A NEW THEORY THAT JAKE IS MADE OF RUBBER. I don’t care if this show isn’t supposed to be logical in ANY way. I am still going to RAEG at all the stupidity. ALL OF THEM.

So, my opinion of the pilot isn’t exactly one of admiration. I find it HIGHLY annoying so far, and I have a gut feeling that it’s not going to get any better.